Exercise for Haters

Welcome to Exercise Haters Anonymous. My name is...Anonymous...and I am an exercise hater.  (Audible Gasp).  Yes, it's true! I dread work outs, avoid all sports, and would rather study then go jogging.  This is just part of who I am, and it will probably never change, but I've put together a list of ways to dupe myself into thinking that I'm just having fun, when I'm actually taking care of my physical health at the same time. I'm such a sneaky genius! If you are a fellow hater, maybe you'll benefit from the list too, so take a good long look!

1.  Ripstick:  This is maybe one of the hardest, funnest, and most addicting forms of exercise.  It's a little tricky to get the hang of at first but here's how to start: 1. Put your best foot forward...literally. One end of a rip-stick is sort of pointed and is the direction the board will go. For most people, one foot will lead better than the other (or it is just easier to face one direction--I'm not sure), so experiment a little. An easy way to tell which foot you should put on the pointy end is by having a friend shove you from behind. The foot that naturally steps forward first is your "best foot".  If you are left, you are termed "regular, and if you are right, you are "goofy", which doesn't make much sense to me, because I am a right-footer, and obviously I am anything but goofy.  I am always right, though.  2. Hang on to the side of a truck-bed or the top of the car and just stand on the ripstick (I think it is easier barefoot, but most people wear shoes)  3. Push off from the truck and just go straight, keeping your balance for as long as possible--don't even try to wiggle! Just glide for a bit...get the feel of the board 3. Once you feel comfortable gliding, push off again and try wiggling your back foot. Trying to explain the difference between the wiggles that make you turn and the wiggles that propel you forward requires words not in my vocabulary, so I'm just going to let you experiment until you figure it out, but I think once you've passed stage three, you'll be hooked.  It's a challenge for your mind, a work-out for your legs, and hours of fun for you!


THIS is a ripstick




Okay, hang on to that car...



push off, glide, and wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

2. African Dance: If USU offered an African Dance major, my search for purpose would be over.  I took a class last sememster, and it was AWESOME! The live drumming makes it easy to feel the rhythm, and there are unique dances from all the cultures and countries of Africa.  I know they hold weekly work-shops at the Rose Wagner theatre in Salt Lake, and probably if you google "African Dance Classes" you can find one almost anywhere.  In my opinion, it doens't get better than this, but if dance of the African variety isn't your thing, I also advocate Zumba, square-dancing, and the Cha-Cha. 

3. Seasonal Fun:  some of the best exercises can only be done for a few months of the year, but let's not leave them off the list for that--it's not entirely their fault.  If you have cash to blow in the winter, hit the slopes with skis or a snowboard.  I've yet to try snowboarding, but I plan to love it, and skiing is just the greatest thing ever.  If you are both an exercise-hater and a failure-fraidy-cat, here's the plus: even if you suck, you still get to ride the lifts and be in the beautiful mountains.  If you don't have cash to blow, sledding is probably the most rewarding form of exercise ever invented.  You hike up a huge hill, while weight-lifting your heavy snow gear and sled, and in return for all that work, you get a thrilling ride!  In the summer, wakeboarding and waterskiing work both your legs AND your arms--DOUBLE POINTS!

Skiing: Henry, Hellie, and Hordan



I'm always sore after tubing, so I bet it is good for something!


4. Hiking:  Why do we listen to music or read or watch TV while we work out at a gym? Because we HATE working out, and we are trying to distract ourselves from the self-betrayal we are committing.  The beauty of hiking is exactly that--it is BEAUTIFUL.  The scenery distracts you from the pain you are putting your body through, and if you still feel that you are betraying your creed, then you can rationalize: the exercising is a sacrifice you must make to appreciate the beauty of this world.  Everybody wins.

the top of Observation Point with Hope

5. Rollerblading/Biking: I'm a college student, and most the places I go are on or near campus.  Since I can't afford a pass for all the different parking lots, I walk a lot.  Maybe you walk a lot too.  If so, shake it up by substituting a bike ride or a rollerblading spree. 



Who decided to make bikes like this obsolete? Let me at 'im!


6. Landscaping: I bet this one is a surprise! This summer we've been building my mom a stone patio in the backyard.  By we, I mean mostly Dad, but the rest of the family has helped with shoveling sand and roadbase, and moving the stones, and it turns out that working in the yard and working out are synonymous.  The fun thing about landscaping is that you are achieving two things at once. You are improving your yard while improving your body.


Now that's what I call weight-lifting!


7. Rock Climbing: Technically, this shouldn't be on the list at all, because I don't really like it, but most people do (or pretend to, to be "hip"), so I stuck it on.  As soon as I put my hands on those little oddly shaped plastic rocks, they start to sweat, and my feet grow about four sizes, and my breath starts coming in little gasps.  If you don't experience these symptoms, chances are you don't have rockwalliphobia, and you should go out and climb something right now!

they all look like this to me

8. Technology for Your Bod: Believe it or not, video games can be good for you! Especially when the weather isn't really cooperating for the rest of this stuff.  Wii Fit (I reccomend the hula-hooping), DDR, Just Dance, and Kinect are all great ways to get some fun excercise in.  Unfortunately, Mario Bros and Zelda don't count (unless of course we're LARPing them. Actually, we should try that! Maybe it will even usurp the number 8 spot on the list).




the best part of wii exercise is that being chunky is the least of your problems


9.  Double Dutch: In my opinion, double dutch is the final challenge in cross-training for mind and body. You've mastered the tongue-twister? Good for you. You are the champion of belly-rubbing-head-patting? Congratulations. But prepare to meet your match! This exercise is good for haters and non-haters alike--who doesn't like a good challenge?



The Karate Kid waits for the double ropes to hit the pavement as he completes the last stage of his training.


10.  Canoeing: number 10 is tricky because most of us don't own canoes or live next door to lakes, but it is here on the list to remind us to keep our options open.  And really, isn't that the trick with all exercise? Just fitting it in when we have the chance to do it in an enjoyable way.  When you get the chance to do have some fun, and especially if it helps strengthen your body, just do it. Carpe diem peeps.



Turns out when you google-image-search "carpe diem canoe" you get this pic of a kayak in a sunset. So I guess what they are saying is that the kayak is like the celestial version of the canoe.  Make of that what you will.

 I don't know about all you anonymous people, but I am feeling inspired! We will now adjourn this meeting of EHA. Hope to see you all again soon. Refreshments can be found at the back of the multipurpose internet site. Thank you.

A Quick and Easy Remedy for the Mopes

If I were a genius scientist, or doctor, or whatever, I would change the MMR vaccine to the MMMR vaccine: measles, mumps, mopes, and rubella. Because, to be honest, who even gets those other things anyway? A few days ago, I was suffering from a very bad case of the mopes, and the doctor's office told me that they couldn't throw in an extra "M" just for the fun of it, so all I could do was cry it out, right? Wrong! I found a equally genius home-remedy sitting on my bookshelf, in the form of a gratitude journal I was given five years ago, and only wrote in six times. This is it:

I just felt like I should open it up and give it another try.  This is the inside: "I am grateful..." and then blanks:

At first, I just stared at the page, wondering how I could ever think of enough things to fill it, but then I thought of how my grandma always tells me how happy she is that I am home for the summer (which I need to hear, because sometimes I'm not glad that I chose to come home, and she helps me feel better about it). I wrote it down.  Suddenly, I was hit by a wave of things I was thankful for that day, and it took maybe five minutes to fill the page.  I knew I was on the way to recovery, and the next morning I woke up happy again.

So the moral of this story is that hollistic home remedy medicine rocks! No, actually the lesson I learned is that  gratitude is the easiest way to get over a bout with the third M.  So, for anyone out there who is feeling a little under the weather today,  find yourself a notebook (it doens't have to be all cutesy like mine, but lets face it--with a little mod podge and some scrapbook paper, any notebook can get its cutesy on) and give it a try. 

To end this post, here's a my favorite quote on gratitude, courtesy of Jenkin Lloyd Jones:

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.  The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.  Life is just like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.  The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

Mission Statement

This is my first post on "As I Linger in Limbo" and I'd just like to introduce what my mission is here.  I have spent some time lately desperately wondering what I am doing with my life.  I have graduated from highschool, and have finished my college generals, so what now? I have to decide where to go next, and my first reaction to that reality is: I can't. I can't make up my mind, and it is frightening to see a void of unplanned space ahead of me.  My great-grandmother, Edna Towers, had a favortite saying, "Can't is a sluggard to lazy to try," and from this I have reached a conclusion.  Maybe I don't know what I am doing yet, but the only way to discover what I like is by TRYING things.  Now, if I were a Jedi Knight, this kind of out-look would not be prohibited.  ("Do or do not, there is no try"--thank you, Master Yoda.) But I don't have a lightsaber, and I think that this whole "trying" idea might actually work for me.  So, here's the deal:  I am going to explore things, create things, cross items off my bucket list, etc. and when I do, I'll post them here with commentary, pictures, and advice.  If you are looking for ways to enjoy life and find purpose while lingering in a limbo of uncertainty, feel free to copy/expand/improve on my ideas.  Most likely, I will also do some posting that has nothing to do with my mission statement--my random thoughts, my favorite jokes, stuff like that.  I'd apologize, but this is my blog.  Enjoy!