Bucket List: Internet Meme

So, one of the things I like to do as I search for direction in life is to cross little items off my bucket list.  Maybe I'm not in a position to do big, life-changing things today but I can do little things that are just for fun and after I've done them, I get the satisfaction of checking them off that little list.

Today I have decided to create an internet meme.  An internet meme is something that spreads via the internet, and lately (thanks to Facebook and Pinterest), the word "meme" usually has a connotation of being humorous.

Ideally, I'd like to make a meme, post it on the internet, and then randomly find it in a few weeks after it has SPREAD ACROSS THE ENTIRE GLOBE! But honestly, if just two or three people re-pin in, I will consider that good enough.

Today's attempt features actress Amanda Seyfried, who is getting a lot of publicity and attention lately.  Generally speaking, she doesn't strike me as a look-alike for a small, furry animal, but every time I see this one picture I just can't shake the resemblance to "Bunnicula," the fictional rabbit vampire.

At least...I thought Bunnicula was fictional...after this picture, I'm not so sure. Perhaps Amanda is a were-rabbit.   (Let it be known, I don't really have an opinion on her acting abilities or personality or follow her celebrity gossip. Let's just say I call them as I see them.)

So now I am going to pin this picture onto my Pinterest, and we'll see if it goes anywhere.  If it doesn't, I'll just try again the next time the inspiration hits me for a new meme.

REWARD

REWARD

One Chocolate/Golden Combination Oreo for the Return of one pillow:
"Gil the Pil"

one side brown, one side green and brown pattern

grieving family: Lil, Phil, and Bill Pill

worried friends: Alyssa, Jordan, Taylor, Beka, Hope, and Sarah

Prime Suspect: Kole Powell

Convicted of the earlier abductions of Lil and Bill.  Known for his poker face and puppy dog eyes. Use Caution.

Return to Pineview 29, Logan Utah

In Which the Blog Writer Begs for Help

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog, but today I have a special request of anyone who reads it...

HELP ME!

I decided yesterday to do NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which is exactly what it sounds like.  You have one month to write a 50,000 word novel.  Way scary, right?

I don't know if I'll be able to do it, but I sure am going to try.  The only problem now is that I have a writer's block at word count 0.  I don't have a single idea to work from!!!

That's where you all come in.  Leave a comment of just a few random words or a random sentence that I could maybe glean some inspiration from. I'd really appreciate it.  The more random it is, the better!

I'm borrowing this concept from Rhett and Link, who used it to come up with one of my favorite songs, "Nilla Wafer Top Hat Time".  Leave a comment for me, and then watch the video as your special reward for helping a sista out.  Thanks everybody!

The Queen of First Impressions

Today I'd like to talk only about myself.  Generally, I try to avoid making my blog my online journal, but this is funny enough that I think you'll all enjoy reading it.

So, when I get a calling, my great fear is standing up in church to get sustained.  I hate just standing there in front of everyone, feeling self-conscious. I especially hate when I am the first name called and have to stand through all the rest. 

Well, last Sunday, I got ready for church and tried to look nice because I knew I'd be doing the awkward standing thing. I forgot to eat breakfast. 

We showed up two minutes late--just two minutes late enough that we had to sit in the empty seats near the front.

Brother White, our First Counselor, who I've introduced myself to several times, stands up to do the sustaining, and my name is--of course--the first one called. 

"We have called Brother Jordan Monson to be a Sunday school teacher" he says.  Oh rats. Not again. I stand up slowly, and then without thinking (no breakfast, remember) I hold my arms out to my sides and say "TADA" in the silent chapel.  (Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!)

Everyone stares at me, and brother white (realizing that I am, in fact, not man) laughs silently to himself...and keeps laughing...for what felt like a good five minutes, during all of which I am just standing alone. I sit down, but Brother White says "No--stand up for the rest", so back up I go!

Finally he reads the rest of the names and I get to sit, but here's the funny part:

Most the people in the chapel weren't paying attention when Bro. White called me a boy, and just wondered why this crazy girl was desecrating the chapel announcing herself with "TADA".  A few asked me about it later, and I cleared it up, but most will never know.  So now I am forever immortalized in my ward as either "Brother Jordan" (to the ones listening) or "TADA girl" (to everyone else). I am the queen of the first impression. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! 

Perhapses

I've been wanting to blog for a while on change and how beautiful it can be, but I've been so busy with all the   changes lately that I haven't had time! And while most have been beautiful, it's always a little weird  to live in a new building, take all new classes, and make almost all new friends...okay, so maybe I'm still on the fence with change.  When you linger in a state of limbo, you think any change is welcome, but I like things I can control, and the world seldom stops turning to ask my permission. It's rather a bother! Humbug.
Then I see something like...

 This! A rusted grape leaf I found...or...

THIS! An amazing bouquet of roses that just became more so as they died, forsaking their bright and showy glamour for this paler,miraculous state of frail beauty.

And then I think to myself...well, I'm getting older everyday, and not getting anywhere fast... but perhaps negative changes I see impacting my small world are not making me any worse, just different. And more interesting. There's a reason why I took a picture of the infected grape leaf, and not the pristine one.  The rusted one shows its scars proudly:  "I think I look cool".  Yes grape leaf, you do.

So here's my goal: not embracing change--not just yet--but not letting it knock me down.  Looking at it from a perspective of perhapses: perhaps this will make me a better person, perhaps I will learn a good lesson, perhaps I will just know to handle situations differently in the future, perhaps this is a wonderful new opportunity...perhaps it doesn't matter all that much.

What will I become? I don't know.  But perhaps I will be something to smile at.

Watermelon World

I decided that I am either an optimist masquerading as a pessimist, or the other way around, because my mood swings are unreal.  One day I'm high on life, and the next day I feel like I'll never get happy again. 

So...I have taken advantage of a particularly long optimism stretch (I haven't had a bad case of the mopes since I last blogged about it), to make this self-help video for the next time I'm feeling down. 

This is a song I wrote on my uke called "Watermelon World" and the idea is that it is the little voice inside my head telling the rest of me to get a grip, and accept life's stains and dribbles, and be happy.

So...I'll let y'all know how this self-therapy works when I get a chance to test it out, but with any luck that will be a long time from now.  Let me know what you think of the song! (Unless you hate it, and then I'd really just rather not know--ignorance is bliss in this case.  Suggestions, on the other hand, are welcome)

Just a note: I didn't pick the thumbnail picture. This is not a depressing song--the pic is just to trick you.

Here are the lyrics, if you can't tell what I'm singing:

Open the window

and let in the breeze

don't let those eyes close again.

I know it's hard, dear

but pick up that guitar and sing...at least...a line...or two, to drive away the blues.

Throw off the bed-clothes

and take out the trash

take a deep breath and let it flow.

I kow it's rough, dear

but you are much too tough to cry...so dry...those eyes...and smile!

It's gonna be just...fine

Out there the sun is shining,

a beautiful day,

it's coming your way

The storm clouds have departed.

Will there be more?

Well who's to say?

Just take my hand now darlin'

and we will see-ee-ee

that life goes on, through rights and wrongs, but hey!

You've still got me!

Get out of bed now honey,

think of the things that make you grin!

The world's a big, ripe watermelon,

so pick a big slice, and dig right in!

And when the juice gets dribbly,

try not to ca-a-are.

The stain on your shirt's just a watermelon squirt,

and you're none the worse for wear!

Hey!

One foot, and then the other,

that's right.

Lift that chin,

meet your reflection with a grin.

It's just a watermelon world,

and you're a brave new girl,

so let

the dribbles

begin.

Exercise for Haters

Welcome to Exercise Haters Anonymous. My name is...Anonymous...and I am an exercise hater.  (Audible Gasp).  Yes, it's true! I dread work outs, avoid all sports, and would rather study then go jogging.  This is just part of who I am, and it will probably never change, but I've put together a list of ways to dupe myself into thinking that I'm just having fun, when I'm actually taking care of my physical health at the same time. I'm such a sneaky genius! If you are a fellow hater, maybe you'll benefit from the list too, so take a good long look!

1.  Ripstick:  This is maybe one of the hardest, funnest, and most addicting forms of exercise.  It's a little tricky to get the hang of at first but here's how to start: 1. Put your best foot forward...literally. One end of a rip-stick is sort of pointed and is the direction the board will go. For most people, one foot will lead better than the other (or it is just easier to face one direction--I'm not sure), so experiment a little. An easy way to tell which foot you should put on the pointy end is by having a friend shove you from behind. The foot that naturally steps forward first is your "best foot".  If you are left, you are termed "regular, and if you are right, you are "goofy", which doesn't make much sense to me, because I am a right-footer, and obviously I am anything but goofy.  I am always right, though.  2. Hang on to the side of a truck-bed or the top of the car and just stand on the ripstick (I think it is easier barefoot, but most people wear shoes)  3. Push off from the truck and just go straight, keeping your balance for as long as possible--don't even try to wiggle! Just glide for a bit...get the feel of the board 3. Once you feel comfortable gliding, push off again and try wiggling your back foot. Trying to explain the difference between the wiggles that make you turn and the wiggles that propel you forward requires words not in my vocabulary, so I'm just going to let you experiment until you figure it out, but I think once you've passed stage three, you'll be hooked.  It's a challenge for your mind, a work-out for your legs, and hours of fun for you!


THIS is a ripstick




Okay, hang on to that car...



push off, glide, and wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

2. African Dance: If USU offered an African Dance major, my search for purpose would be over.  I took a class last sememster, and it was AWESOME! The live drumming makes it easy to feel the rhythm, and there are unique dances from all the cultures and countries of Africa.  I know they hold weekly work-shops at the Rose Wagner theatre in Salt Lake, and probably if you google "African Dance Classes" you can find one almost anywhere.  In my opinion, it doens't get better than this, but if dance of the African variety isn't your thing, I also advocate Zumba, square-dancing, and the Cha-Cha. 

3. Seasonal Fun:  some of the best exercises can only be done for a few months of the year, but let's not leave them off the list for that--it's not entirely their fault.  If you have cash to blow in the winter, hit the slopes with skis or a snowboard.  I've yet to try snowboarding, but I plan to love it, and skiing is just the greatest thing ever.  If you are both an exercise-hater and a failure-fraidy-cat, here's the plus: even if you suck, you still get to ride the lifts and be in the beautiful mountains.  If you don't have cash to blow, sledding is probably the most rewarding form of exercise ever invented.  You hike up a huge hill, while weight-lifting your heavy snow gear and sled, and in return for all that work, you get a thrilling ride!  In the summer, wakeboarding and waterskiing work both your legs AND your arms--DOUBLE POINTS!

Skiing: Henry, Hellie, and Hordan



I'm always sore after tubing, so I bet it is good for something!


4. Hiking:  Why do we listen to music or read or watch TV while we work out at a gym? Because we HATE working out, and we are trying to distract ourselves from the self-betrayal we are committing.  The beauty of hiking is exactly that--it is BEAUTIFUL.  The scenery distracts you from the pain you are putting your body through, and if you still feel that you are betraying your creed, then you can rationalize: the exercising is a sacrifice you must make to appreciate the beauty of this world.  Everybody wins.

the top of Observation Point with Hope

5. Rollerblading/Biking: I'm a college student, and most the places I go are on or near campus.  Since I can't afford a pass for all the different parking lots, I walk a lot.  Maybe you walk a lot too.  If so, shake it up by substituting a bike ride or a rollerblading spree. 



Who decided to make bikes like this obsolete? Let me at 'im!


6. Landscaping: I bet this one is a surprise! This summer we've been building my mom a stone patio in the backyard.  By we, I mean mostly Dad, but the rest of the family has helped with shoveling sand and roadbase, and moving the stones, and it turns out that working in the yard and working out are synonymous.  The fun thing about landscaping is that you are achieving two things at once. You are improving your yard while improving your body.


Now that's what I call weight-lifting!


7. Rock Climbing: Technically, this shouldn't be on the list at all, because I don't really like it, but most people do (or pretend to, to be "hip"), so I stuck it on.  As soon as I put my hands on those little oddly shaped plastic rocks, they start to sweat, and my feet grow about four sizes, and my breath starts coming in little gasps.  If you don't experience these symptoms, chances are you don't have rockwalliphobia, and you should go out and climb something right now!

they all look like this to me

8. Technology for Your Bod: Believe it or not, video games can be good for you! Especially when the weather isn't really cooperating for the rest of this stuff.  Wii Fit (I reccomend the hula-hooping), DDR, Just Dance, and Kinect are all great ways to get some fun excercise in.  Unfortunately, Mario Bros and Zelda don't count (unless of course we're LARPing them. Actually, we should try that! Maybe it will even usurp the number 8 spot on the list).




the best part of wii exercise is that being chunky is the least of your problems


9.  Double Dutch: In my opinion, double dutch is the final challenge in cross-training for mind and body. You've mastered the tongue-twister? Good for you. You are the champion of belly-rubbing-head-patting? Congratulations. But prepare to meet your match! This exercise is good for haters and non-haters alike--who doesn't like a good challenge?



The Karate Kid waits for the double ropes to hit the pavement as he completes the last stage of his training.


10.  Canoeing: number 10 is tricky because most of us don't own canoes or live next door to lakes, but it is here on the list to remind us to keep our options open.  And really, isn't that the trick with all exercise? Just fitting it in when we have the chance to do it in an enjoyable way.  When you get the chance to do have some fun, and especially if it helps strengthen your body, just do it. Carpe diem peeps.



Turns out when you google-image-search "carpe diem canoe" you get this pic of a kayak in a sunset. So I guess what they are saying is that the kayak is like the celestial version of the canoe.  Make of that what you will.

 I don't know about all you anonymous people, but I am feeling inspired! We will now adjourn this meeting of EHA. Hope to see you all again soon. Refreshments can be found at the back of the multipurpose internet site. Thank you.

A Quick and Easy Remedy for the Mopes

If I were a genius scientist, or doctor, or whatever, I would change the MMR vaccine to the MMMR vaccine: measles, mumps, mopes, and rubella. Because, to be honest, who even gets those other things anyway? A few days ago, I was suffering from a very bad case of the mopes, and the doctor's office told me that they couldn't throw in an extra "M" just for the fun of it, so all I could do was cry it out, right? Wrong! I found a equally genius home-remedy sitting on my bookshelf, in the form of a gratitude journal I was given five years ago, and only wrote in six times. This is it:

I just felt like I should open it up and give it another try.  This is the inside: "I am grateful..." and then blanks:

At first, I just stared at the page, wondering how I could ever think of enough things to fill it, but then I thought of how my grandma always tells me how happy she is that I am home for the summer (which I need to hear, because sometimes I'm not glad that I chose to come home, and she helps me feel better about it). I wrote it down.  Suddenly, I was hit by a wave of things I was thankful for that day, and it took maybe five minutes to fill the page.  I knew I was on the way to recovery, and the next morning I woke up happy again.

So the moral of this story is that hollistic home remedy medicine rocks! No, actually the lesson I learned is that  gratitude is the easiest way to get over a bout with the third M.  So, for anyone out there who is feeling a little under the weather today,  find yourself a notebook (it doens't have to be all cutesy like mine, but lets face it--with a little mod podge and some scrapbook paper, any notebook can get its cutesy on) and give it a try. 

To end this post, here's a my favorite quote on gratitude, courtesy of Jenkin Lloyd Jones:

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.  The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise.  Life is just like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.  The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

Mission Statement

This is my first post on "As I Linger in Limbo" and I'd just like to introduce what my mission is here.  I have spent some time lately desperately wondering what I am doing with my life.  I have graduated from highschool, and have finished my college generals, so what now? I have to decide where to go next, and my first reaction to that reality is: I can't. I can't make up my mind, and it is frightening to see a void of unplanned space ahead of me.  My great-grandmother, Edna Towers, had a favortite saying, "Can't is a sluggard to lazy to try," and from this I have reached a conclusion.  Maybe I don't know what I am doing yet, but the only way to discover what I like is by TRYING things.  Now, if I were a Jedi Knight, this kind of out-look would not be prohibited.  ("Do or do not, there is no try"--thank you, Master Yoda.) But I don't have a lightsaber, and I think that this whole "trying" idea might actually work for me.  So, here's the deal:  I am going to explore things, create things, cross items off my bucket list, etc. and when I do, I'll post them here with commentary, pictures, and advice.  If you are looking for ways to enjoy life and find purpose while lingering in a limbo of uncertainty, feel free to copy/expand/improve on my ideas.  Most likely, I will also do some posting that has nothing to do with my mission statement--my random thoughts, my favorite jokes, stuff like that.  I'd apologize, but this is my blog.  Enjoy!