I've been wanting to blog for a while on change and how beautiful it can be, but I've been so busy with all the changes lately that I haven't had time! And while most have been beautiful, it's always a little weird to live in a new building, take all new classes, and make almost all new friends...okay, so maybe I'm still on the fence with change. When you linger in a state of limbo, you think any change is welcome, but I like things I can control, and the world seldom stops turning to ask my permission. It's rather a bother! Humbug.
Then I see something like...
This! A rusted grape leaf I found...or...
THIS! An amazing bouquet of roses that just became more so as they died, forsaking their bright and showy glamour for this paler,miraculous state of frail beauty.
And then I think to myself...well, I'm getting older everyday, and not getting anywhere fast... but perhaps negative changes I see impacting my small world are not making me any worse, just different. And more interesting. There's a reason why I took a picture of the infected grape leaf, and not the pristine one. The rusted one shows its scars proudly: "I think I look cool". Yes grape leaf, you do.
So here's my goal: not embracing change--not just yet--but not letting it knock me down. Looking at it from a perspective of perhapses: perhaps this will make me a better person, perhaps I will learn a good lesson, perhaps I will just know to handle situations differently in the future, perhaps this is a wonderful new opportunity...perhaps it doesn't matter all that much.
What will I become? I don't know. But perhaps I will be something to smile at.
I decided that I am either an optimist masquerading as a pessimist, or the other way around, because my mood swings are unreal. One day I'm high on life, and the next day I feel like I'll never get happy again.
So...I have taken advantage of a particularly long optimism stretch (I haven't had a bad case of the mopes since I last blogged about it), to make this self-help video for the next time I'm feeling down.
This is a song I wrote on my uke called "Watermelon World" and the idea is that it is the little voice inside my head telling the rest of me to get a grip, and accept life's stains and dribbles, and be happy.
So...I'll let y'all know how this self-therapy works when I get a chance to test it out, but with any luck that will be a long time from now. Let me know what you think of the song! (Unless you hate it, and then I'd really just rather not know--ignorance is bliss in this case. Suggestions, on the other hand, are welcome)
Just a note: I didn't pick the thumbnail picture. This is not a depressing song--the pic is just to trick you.
Here are the lyrics, if you can't tell what I'm singing:
Open the window
and let in the breeze
don't let those eyes close again.
I know it's hard, dear
but pick up that guitar and sing...at least...a line...or two, to drive away the blues.
Throw off the bed-clothes
and take out the trash
take a deep breath and let it flow.
I kow it's rough, dear
but you are much too tough to cry...so dry...those eyes...and smile!
It's gonna be just...fine
Out there the sun is shining,
a beautiful day,
it's coming your way
The storm clouds have departed.
Will there be more?
Well who's to say?
Just take my hand now darlin'
and we will see-ee-ee
that life goes on, through rights and wrongs, but hey!
You've still got me!
Get out of bed now honey,
think of the things that make you grin!
The world's a big, ripe watermelon,
so pick a big slice, and dig right in!
And when the juice gets dribbly,
try not to ca-a-are.
The stain on your shirt's just a watermelon squirt,
